I hope this finds everyone doing paticularly well. I hope that this day has brought something to each of you that you consider a blessing. I hope that at some point today, there has been something that made you smile. I hope at one point today you have burst out in hopeless laughter.
I am a deep thinker. I have been since I can remember. My mind is always racing with some thought through my mind. And yet the best times in my life are those moments when I just completely let go of all that thinking and empty myself completely. I think it's because these are the times when I'm typically talking intimately with God, and I don't have to have any worries in this moments.
Anyways, my mind has been wandering a lot lately it seems. And I'm not sure where it's taking me. It's hard to explain. There has been so much on my mind that I cannot seem to focus on anything. And yet one theme, one thought keeps coming back to my mind. It's scary when a single thought is all you seem to be able to focus on. I just keep beginning to wonder what the immmensity of this thought is. Why cannot I not get it out of my mind? It is like a fire that consumes my every being and I am not sure how to extinguish it. And it seems that everything I see, everything I hear, seem to only fuel the flames. And how hot they seem to be.
And yet as I sit here on this Saturday night, or Sunday morning depending on how you look at it, I question if I want to extinguish this flame. Or do I just want to let it burn. It's a warm thought, a nice burn. Comforting in a way. But is it good for me? I do not know. But part of me feels like I need to rid myself of this burning. If I play with this fire for too long, I am certain to get burned. But how much is too much? I'm pretty sure this is the wrong question to ask. Yet I feel certain it is the one question we all ask ourselves about anything that can be good. How much is too much? How far is too far? When does it going from being something good, to be being something bad?
Perhaps I'm looking at this all wrong. Perhaps the question shouldn't be how much is too much, but rather how can what I'm doing bring God's greater glory? How can my thoughts bring about God's greater glory? It's a hefty task. To try everything I can to conform my mind, body and life to give praise and glory to my Lord in everything I do. And yet I try myself doing it. And how my faith lets me try this every day. And lets me try again when I fail. I feel sorry for those who see only this beautiful gift that God gives us in Himself as a list of rules. Of what we can and cannot do for some system of rewards versus punishment. That's not what our faith offers us. It offers us so much more. It offers us freedom. It offers us true love. It offers us a chance to being crazy and outrageous and nonconforming to the practices of this world. It offers us a chance to sing and dance and love like there is nothing holding us back. All we have to do is allow God to love us first.
And so as I sat here typing this, my mind became clear and I thougth of my Lord. And I thought of His love for me. And I then thought about you. And how I love you. And I again hope that this finds you well. And that whatever problems you have this day, that you know that if nothing else, you are loved. So I will pray for you and hope that the Lord blesses you greatly.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
I Have a Dream
About 47 years ago, one man boldly proclaimed in front of God and an entire nation what some of his dreams were. These were radical thoughts to many at the time.
This is a post that I've wanted to put up for awhile, but I knew there would be no more perfect day than today. Today we celebrate the birthday of the man who proclaimed his dreams. While I was in Orlando, one of the speakers I heard, Matthew Kelly, said that we are a generation that has lost our ability to dream. And if we ever want to have direction in our lives, we need to see a picture of where we may want to go. He says that every so often he will give his employees the task to create a dream list. A list of anything they may want to do. And so here is mine. Here is my dream list. Things I want to do.
I have a dream...
1. to build my own guitar, from scratch.
2. to learn to ride a motorcycle.
3. to ride a motorcycle the entirety of Route 66.
4. to travel throughout Europe, hitting such places as Rome, Paris and Dublin to name a very few.
5. to play my guitar and sing in a live venue again.
6. to find a woman and marry her.
7. to raise a family with said woman.
8. to run a half marathon.
9. to take my wife with me across Europe.
10. to find a job in which I will finally be happy.
11. to read the entire Bible.
12. to write a book.
13. to produce a CD with songs that I've written.
14. to learn how to disassemble, clean and reassemble a firearm without looking for the soul purpose of freaking out any suitor my future daughters may bring home.
15. to visit Jerusalem.
16. to experience one day lived in complete enjoyment of life.
17. to go to a wine tasting in California.
18. to go parasailing.
19. to learn Spanish, French, Italian and Polish fluently.
20. to learn how to play the piano.
21. to help bring people back to their faith.
22. to sleep on the beach.
23. to bungee jump.
24. to find a job that I will love going to each and every day.
25. to spend an entire week's salary by giving it to someone less fortunate than myself.
26. to hike through the Applachian trial.
27. to go on a cruise... in Alaska.
28. to spend a few weeks living in the wilderness.
29. to spend a day in total and complete silence.
30. to stop allowing differences between me and my brother's and sister's to matter in a negative way.
31. to learn how to hunt for survival purposes.
32. to take my parents to the house when Pope John Paul II lived.
33. to fly somewhere.
34. to take care of horses.
35. to own a horse.
36. to work on a ranch.
37. to spend a day just listening to others.
38. to toast a friend at their wedding.
39. to repel.
40. to go mountain climbing.
41. to visit each of the 50 states.
42. to go to a beer tasting in Germany.
43. to go scuba diving.
44. to spend a month living a life of service in a different country.
45. to spend a month living a life of service in this country.
46. to be engulfed by children in a dog pile.
47. to spend a day watching movies.
48. to be a regular at a diner where they know what to bring me instead of having to order.
49. to have a child fall asleep in my arms.
50. to love all as Christ has loved them. Or as near as I can get.
So this is a really small list. But they are things I want to do Some big. Some big to me. I hope everyone has had an enjoyable day celebrating the differences we all share and thinking about their dreams. I think we sometimes forget to do that. Hopefully one day at least some of these will come true.
I hope this finds you all feeling blessed and loved. Because you are.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
The Good Things/Blessings List
So I've posted this on other places, but thought I'd post and expand here. It goes like this, I was chatting with a friend one night as she tapped away on her keyboard. Upon inquiring what she was do it, she expressed the desire to want to read it to me. She then read off a number of things she titled, her "Good Things List." The purpose of this list is to really thing about the good things in life. While in Orlando, one of the speakers I heard mentioned something about counting blessings. Really examining the reasons you have in your life to praise God. And I got to thinking, that's is a really good idea, I should make a list of those things. And then I realized I had. So this is my good things/blessings list. This list compiles a number, but not close to all, the things that are good in life, and that I am truly thankful for:
1. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit
2. Speaking in an accent and convincing others that I'm from the country that I'm imitating.
3. A cup of coffee... especially in the morning.
4. Waking up to find that someone has texted or called while you was sleeping.
5. A good conversation.
6. Staying up way late and then realizing that going to bed just doesn't seem worth it.
7. Climbing Trees
8. When you come in from the cold and your glasses fog up so you cannot see a thing. I get the same phenomenon when scooping popcorn out of the popper at work when a fresh batch is popping.
9. The smell of a fresh batch of popcorn
10. Random adventures with the best of friends
11. Kristen Basore's acceptance of individuals for who they are
12. Hearing Cameron Davis's laugh from 3 miles away
13. Dancing
14. Finding the right chords to the lyrics that have been written for months
15. The smile of a stranger as you pass by one another
16. Christmas carolers
17. Laying in the sun in the grass after getting out of a pool. Or doing the same thing in the sand on a beach
18. Ice covered trees on the campus of Bowling Green after a big ice storm
19. Days off
20. Leaving my phone behind and going off for a while
21. A random letter or note found in my mailbox or hidden somewhere to find
22. Music
23. Rading over old cards, letters and notes from friends
24. Having a good hole of golf
25. Watching the sunrise
26. Watching the sunset
27. The brief moment before you fall asleep at night where there's just a complete feeling of peace.
28. Skipping stones
29. When someone says thank you
30. Helping others
31. The first sip of hot chocolate after playing in the snow
32. Jumping into a freshly raked pile of leags
33. Mispronouncing words just for funsies
34. Using improper plural forms of words such as gooses instead of geese or meeces instead of mice
35. Elf
36. When a song you love randomly plays on your iPod while shuffling
37. Hearing a song for the first time that touches your soul
38. Finding a passage in the Bible that speaks so clearly to the state in life you're in at the moment
39. Realizing God's forgiveness
40. Deep theological conversations late at night at Diana's Deli with Kallie Holzhauser
41. Dinner with the entire family
42. Seeing a child's face when they're smiling
43. Wishing someone a Merry Christmas
44. The anticipation of hiding and waiting in close spaces right before the guest of honor shows up at a surprise party
45. Doing absolutely nothing
46. Star gazing
47. Laying on a rooftop on a warm night and starring into space
48. Carrots
49. Enjoying a beer with a close friend
50. Talking things out with God
51. Palm trees
52. Listening to the rain fall
53. The feeling you get right after you accomplished something
54. The first look of a clean room
55. Lighthouses
56. Sitting on the rocks by the lake and letting time pass slowly
57. Realizing all the little signs that have pointed you in the direction you've been going
58. Being able to give up a bad habit
59. Playing sports with friends for fun
60. The wind in your hair, especially on a sailboat
61. The taste of cold water on a hot day
62. Making a connection with someone
63. Being completely absorbed by a play, musical, dance recital or concert that everything and everyone else in the world completely dissolves
64. Bailey's in coffee
65. Bathing in a river
66. Having mass outside
67. Reading a good book
68. Reading stories and singing lullabys to Gina Bauer and Sarah Acker
69. Catching up with an old friend
70. Carrying a child on your shoulders
71. Realizing the immensity of the statement "One Holy and Apostolic Church"
72. Riding a horse
73. Going on a good run
74. Playing with puppies and kittens
75. Long walks
76. Laughing until you cry
77. Being so exhausted you fall asleep agaisnt your will
78. Someone asking you how your day is going and honestly caring
79. Sunday morning mass followed by breakfast with the entire family
80. Christmas tree farms
81. Bonfires
82. Rollerblading
83. Awesome hats
84. Awkward moments that make days
85. Underwear taped to my door from my Secret Santa
86. Faith being rewarded
87.The easing of uneasiness
88. The moment when you out somebody you're worried about is okay
89. Weddings
90. My dad telling me he's proud of me
91. Playing guitar until my fingers can't take anymore
92. Someone enjoying a song that they have no idea I wrote
93. Jazz nights at 149
94. Spending time in coffee shops
95. Breakfast foods
96. Getting excited for something that is going to happen soon
97. Having a fuse blown in your car requiring you to yell "HONK!" out the window as you travel through tunnels
98. Picking up a conversation with a friend whom you haven't talked to in a while and feeling like nothing has changed
99. Feeling so comforatable with someone that you can sit in silence and still feel like you've spent some good, quality time together
100. Hugs
101. Someone calling out an awkward moment
102. QT with Cuties!
103. Conversations with Mary Alice Newnam
104. Ryan Arnold parodies
105. The way a guitar sounds after it has new strings put on it
106. Ben Folds
107. Listening to someone talk about something they're passionate about
108. Being introduced to a new band that is simply amazing
109. Hearing other peoples' stories
110. Trusting God enough to let go of having to know what comes next
111. Waking up feeling better after being sick
112. Giving to others
113. Facing a fear and coming out the other end
114. People asking you for your opinion and/or advice
115. Jon Schmidt crossovers played on piano and cello
116. Classical music
117. Jason Mraz
118. Praise and Worship music
119. Praying well with others
120. Writing
121. Palindromes :)
122. Soaking in a hot tub after a run
123. Odd painting or pictures that you have in your house that you don't really know why
124. Being completely blown away by a movie
125. Getting messages from Tegan Gahan
126. Sitting around with friends and laughing
127. JonMarc Grodi recording sessions
128. Random Emily McFadden comments made out of the blue
129. Realizing how much your friends truly care about you and your well being
130. Sitting down and actually realizing how many blessings and reasons to be thankful you have in your life
Again, this is only the beginning of the list. Only a small number of reasons why I am thankful to God. He has blessed me abundantly, as you can see, and I haven't even scratched the tip of the iceberg. I would encourage everyone to make something like this and really let this be the beginning of you searching for joy in life.
God bless you all.
1. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit
2. Speaking in an accent and convincing others that I'm from the country that I'm imitating.
3. A cup of coffee... especially in the morning.
4. Waking up to find that someone has texted or called while you was sleeping.
5. A good conversation.
6. Staying up way late and then realizing that going to bed just doesn't seem worth it.
7. Climbing Trees
8. When you come in from the cold and your glasses fog up so you cannot see a thing. I get the same phenomenon when scooping popcorn out of the popper at work when a fresh batch is popping.
9. The smell of a fresh batch of popcorn
10. Random adventures with the best of friends
11. Kristen Basore's acceptance of individuals for who they are
12. Hearing Cameron Davis's laugh from 3 miles away
13. Dancing
14. Finding the right chords to the lyrics that have been written for months
15. The smile of a stranger as you pass by one another
16. Christmas carolers
17. Laying in the sun in the grass after getting out of a pool. Or doing the same thing in the sand on a beach
18. Ice covered trees on the campus of Bowling Green after a big ice storm
19. Days off
20. Leaving my phone behind and going off for a while
21. A random letter or note found in my mailbox or hidden somewhere to find
22. Music
23. Rading over old cards, letters and notes from friends
24. Having a good hole of golf
25. Watching the sunrise
26. Watching the sunset
27. The brief moment before you fall asleep at night where there's just a complete feeling of peace.
28. Skipping stones
29. When someone says thank you
30. Helping others
31. The first sip of hot chocolate after playing in the snow
32. Jumping into a freshly raked pile of leags
33. Mispronouncing words just for funsies
34. Using improper plural forms of words such as gooses instead of geese or meeces instead of mice
35. Elf
36. When a song you love randomly plays on your iPod while shuffling
37. Hearing a song for the first time that touches your soul
38. Finding a passage in the Bible that speaks so clearly to the state in life you're in at the moment
39. Realizing God's forgiveness
40. Deep theological conversations late at night at Diana's Deli with Kallie Holzhauser
41. Dinner with the entire family
42. Seeing a child's face when they're smiling
43. Wishing someone a Merry Christmas
44. The anticipation of hiding and waiting in close spaces right before the guest of honor shows up at a surprise party
45. Doing absolutely nothing
46. Star gazing
47. Laying on a rooftop on a warm night and starring into space
48. Carrots
49. Enjoying a beer with a close friend
50. Talking things out with God
51. Palm trees
52. Listening to the rain fall
53. The feeling you get right after you accomplished something
54. The first look of a clean room
55. Lighthouses
56. Sitting on the rocks by the lake and letting time pass slowly
57. Realizing all the little signs that have pointed you in the direction you've been going
58. Being able to give up a bad habit
59. Playing sports with friends for fun
60. The wind in your hair, especially on a sailboat
61. The taste of cold water on a hot day
62. Making a connection with someone
63. Being completely absorbed by a play, musical, dance recital or concert that everything and everyone else in the world completely dissolves
64. Bailey's in coffee
65. Bathing in a river
66. Having mass outside
67. Reading a good book
68. Reading stories and singing lullabys to Gina Bauer and Sarah Acker
69. Catching up with an old friend
70. Carrying a child on your shoulders
71. Realizing the immensity of the statement "One Holy and Apostolic Church"
72. Riding a horse
73. Going on a good run
74. Playing with puppies and kittens
75. Long walks
76. Laughing until you cry
77. Being so exhausted you fall asleep agaisnt your will
78. Someone asking you how your day is going and honestly caring
79. Sunday morning mass followed by breakfast with the entire family
80. Christmas tree farms
81. Bonfires
82. Rollerblading
83. Awesome hats
84. Awkward moments that make days
85. Underwear taped to my door from my Secret Santa
86. Faith being rewarded
87.The easing of uneasiness
88. The moment when you out somebody you're worried about is okay
89. Weddings
90. My dad telling me he's proud of me
91. Playing guitar until my fingers can't take anymore
92. Someone enjoying a song that they have no idea I wrote
93. Jazz nights at 149
94. Spending time in coffee shops
95. Breakfast foods
96. Getting excited for something that is going to happen soon
97. Having a fuse blown in your car requiring you to yell "HONK!" out the window as you travel through tunnels
98. Picking up a conversation with a friend whom you haven't talked to in a while and feeling like nothing has changed
99. Feeling so comforatable with someone that you can sit in silence and still feel like you've spent some good, quality time together
100. Hugs
101. Someone calling out an awkward moment
102. QT with Cuties!
103. Conversations with Mary Alice Newnam
104. Ryan Arnold parodies
105. The way a guitar sounds after it has new strings put on it
106. Ben Folds
107. Listening to someone talk about something they're passionate about
108. Being introduced to a new band that is simply amazing
109. Hearing other peoples' stories
110. Trusting God enough to let go of having to know what comes next
111. Waking up feeling better after being sick
112. Giving to others
113. Facing a fear and coming out the other end
114. People asking you for your opinion and/or advice
115. Jon Schmidt crossovers played on piano and cello
116. Classical music
117. Jason Mraz
118. Praise and Worship music
119. Praying well with others
120. Writing
121. Palindromes :)
122. Soaking in a hot tub after a run
123. Odd painting or pictures that you have in your house that you don't really know why
124. Being completely blown away by a movie
125. Getting messages from Tegan Gahan
126. Sitting around with friends and laughing
127. JonMarc Grodi recording sessions
128. Random Emily McFadden comments made out of the blue
129. Realizing how much your friends truly care about you and your well being
130. Sitting down and actually realizing how many blessings and reasons to be thankful you have in your life
Again, this is only the beginning of the list. Only a small number of reasons why I am thankful to God. He has blessed me abundantly, as you can see, and I haven't even scratched the tip of the iceberg. I would encourage everyone to make something like this and really let this be the beginning of you searching for joy in life.
God bless you all.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Taylor Swift's "Fifteen" and The New Watch Phenomenon
Alright, so this is my first blog. Something I decided to do just because it gives me one more outlet to put my thoughts and I guess not as many people know of it. First a quick explanation on the name of my blog. It is part of the verse Romans 13:12. I was looking for something that fit me and that would fit my blog. I want this to be a place of hope. Where my hope may spread to others. My faith is a huge part of my life and so when I was looking for Bible verses that would fit, that one stuck out to me and I knew the moment I saw it, it would be the title.
The other thing I want to say to all bloggers out there is that you may not agree with everything I say. But if I say something you do not agree with, at least let it be a proposition to a different view than you own. I do not mean offense to anyone with anything I say.
So anyways, moving on.
In her song, "Fifteen," Taylor Swift sings that "when you're fifteen and someone tells you they love you; you're gunna believe it." I think she's only a small fraction of the way there. I believe that no matter what age a human being may find themselves at, when someone tells you they love you, you're going to believe them. Why wouldn't you? We all have this desire to be loved, and we desperately want someone to fulfill this desire. However, no one will ever understand this desire as much as our Heavenly Father who gave us these desires. This is also why no one fills it as well as He does, because He created this desire.
I was riding on a bus back from Orlando where I was part of a large gather of Catholic college students for a conference and I really got to thinking about this. I recently ended a relationship and have been slowly and surely dealing with the hurt that comes with any breakup. Most people, myself included, tend to get very upset when someone fails to fulfill this desire we have. And yet, we must realize, that no one will ever fully fulfill our desire to be loved on this Earth because we are all going into the game handicapped. Each and every one us has a disordered desire for love and that is why we can never fulfill the desire of another human being. I'm not saying this as a negative thing, but merely as what I see as a truth. But why is this? Why can know human love to the capacity of the Almighty Himself?
I'm convinced Boston hit the nail right on the head, if only more people would listen to them. Boston sings "More than a feeling." See to love another is more than a feeling. It's a conscious decision. Everyday saying that you will love this person. I think when people look at love this way, when someone says that they can love someone and not like them, or not like something they are doing, the concept is a lot more easy to understand. So if we do our best to image the Father and Christ, we consciously make the choice to love always. Everyday. Selflessly, always for the good of the other. And this gives me hope because it means that if I can love this way on this Earth, thought I will never do it perfectly, I can obtain a glimpse of the love that I will, God willing, experience one day in Heaven.
On this same trip, it was a long trip, I came up with what I call the "New Watch Phenomenon." What I'm talking about really happens with all new things, at least for me, but I feel I notice it the most when I get a new watch. You see when I get a new watch, I do whatever I can to make it sure it says in the most pristine condition possible. I keep it in a case. I'm careful to not drop it. I'm careful to not rub it agaisnt any way for fear of it being scratched. I won't put in water, even if it's waterproof. I am very, very careful. However, as always happens, I somehow get a scratch or something on it. When this happens, you would think I would have owned this thing for years. I am no longer careful about how I handle it, and the condition deteriorates even more. I wonder how many are out there like me. And I wonder how many people, like myself I sometimes realize, put this same practice into relationships. When I meet someone new, I am very careful with them. You would think I was the most wonderful, amazing person in the world. And then something happens in the relationship. One scratch occurs. And all of a sudden it's like I stop caring about trying to be the best version of myself. It was a giant shock to me. But one that now that I recognize, I can fix. And I cannot wait until the next time I get a scratch. So I can take proper steps to ensure that this scratch remains alone.
The other thing I want to say to all bloggers out there is that you may not agree with everything I say. But if I say something you do not agree with, at least let it be a proposition to a different view than you own. I do not mean offense to anyone with anything I say.
So anyways, moving on.
In her song, "Fifteen," Taylor Swift sings that "when you're fifteen and someone tells you they love you; you're gunna believe it." I think she's only a small fraction of the way there. I believe that no matter what age a human being may find themselves at, when someone tells you they love you, you're going to believe them. Why wouldn't you? We all have this desire to be loved, and we desperately want someone to fulfill this desire. However, no one will ever understand this desire as much as our Heavenly Father who gave us these desires. This is also why no one fills it as well as He does, because He created this desire.
I was riding on a bus back from Orlando where I was part of a large gather of Catholic college students for a conference and I really got to thinking about this. I recently ended a relationship and have been slowly and surely dealing with the hurt that comes with any breakup. Most people, myself included, tend to get very upset when someone fails to fulfill this desire we have. And yet, we must realize, that no one will ever fully fulfill our desire to be loved on this Earth because we are all going into the game handicapped. Each and every one us has a disordered desire for love and that is why we can never fulfill the desire of another human being. I'm not saying this as a negative thing, but merely as what I see as a truth. But why is this? Why can know human love to the capacity of the Almighty Himself?
I'm convinced Boston hit the nail right on the head, if only more people would listen to them. Boston sings "More than a feeling." See to love another is more than a feeling. It's a conscious decision. Everyday saying that you will love this person. I think when people look at love this way, when someone says that they can love someone and not like them, or not like something they are doing, the concept is a lot more easy to understand. So if we do our best to image the Father and Christ, we consciously make the choice to love always. Everyday. Selflessly, always for the good of the other. And this gives me hope because it means that if I can love this way on this Earth, thought I will never do it perfectly, I can obtain a glimpse of the love that I will, God willing, experience one day in Heaven.
On this same trip, it was a long trip, I came up with what I call the "New Watch Phenomenon." What I'm talking about really happens with all new things, at least for me, but I feel I notice it the most when I get a new watch. You see when I get a new watch, I do whatever I can to make it sure it says in the most pristine condition possible. I keep it in a case. I'm careful to not drop it. I'm careful to not rub it agaisnt any way for fear of it being scratched. I won't put in water, even if it's waterproof. I am very, very careful. However, as always happens, I somehow get a scratch or something on it. When this happens, you would think I would have owned this thing for years. I am no longer careful about how I handle it, and the condition deteriorates even more. I wonder how many are out there like me. And I wonder how many people, like myself I sometimes realize, put this same practice into relationships. When I meet someone new, I am very careful with them. You would think I was the most wonderful, amazing person in the world. And then something happens in the relationship. One scratch occurs. And all of a sudden it's like I stop caring about trying to be the best version of myself. It was a giant shock to me. But one that now that I recognize, I can fix. And I cannot wait until the next time I get a scratch. So I can take proper steps to ensure that this scratch remains alone.
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