Two Lesbians Raised a Baby and This is what They Got

So the following video was found on facebook:
http://front.moveon.org/two-lesbians-raised-a-baby-and-this-is-what-they-got/
Alright, so I watched this video because it was posted by a number of my facebook friends and was a little disenheartened by it. I began thinking seriously why I was so bothered by this video and then it hit me. This is a very well educated, well spoken young man who was raised by two lesbians which means that, obviously, same sex couples are just as capable of raising children, right? Maybe, but that's not what bothers me. Through this young man's talk, there is an overtone that I ignored completely through my first viewing. In his case, men are apparently unnecessary. Think about it, his whole point is that he is successful, and well adjusted, and all with two mom's, so a woman can do just as a well as a man being a father.

Here are some problems with this:
1. It takes away the God given uniqueness that we have as male and female. We are different. There is no way to get around it. That doesn't make one bother than the other, just different. Think of it like this, 2+2 = 4. So does 3 + 1. These are different statements but the same equality. Yet according to this young man, it doesn't matter. Two dads, two moms, a mom and a dad. It's all the same. Yet we're told something very different in the Bible: "God created man [humanity] in his image; in the diving image He created them; male and female he created them." Gen. 1:27 (bold and brackets added).
We have a uniqueness, an no woman can fulfill certain roles that are meant for man, such as being a father, and no man can fulfill certain roles meant for woman, such as being a mother. Aside from the faith, biologically, this is an impossiblity. But here's the kicker...

2. I think that both the young man and the mothers, as least subconsciously, know that a male presence in necessary in the growth and development of a child. What evidence to I have of that? Straight from this young man's mouth. He boasts, proudly, of being an Eagle Scout. Now, I know a few peole who are Eagle Scouts, and they are proud of it. As one who left the Boy Scouts before getting know, I know why. It is an accomplishment that is difficult to achieve and requires a lot discipline and dedication to service of your community and to God. Anyone who achieves should speak proudly of their achievemnt. But my question is this, why was he even in Boy Scouts? I believe that, even if it was at a subconscious level, both this young man and his mothers knew he would need good male role models to help teach and guide him in what it means to be a man. No woman could ever be this guide through manhood adequately because she doesn't know what it means to be man. And how fortunate it was that this young man was able to become so involved in an organization that was able to guide him this way!

3. This is a well adjusted and successful young man. But what about his father? What about his sister? "Thankfully" both this young man and his sister were conceived in their mother through IVF (invitro ferlization) by the same anonymous donor. Yet all that is know of the father is he is an anonymous donor. Holy crap, I hear constantly how men need to step up and be men by we applaud this unknown person just giving up some sperm and shirking off any and all responisbility for his actions. How is that manly? How is that teaching our children to take responsibility for their actions? And does this young man's sister have a man in her life to teach her what love is in an unconditional and nonsexual way. Does she know of her intrinsic dignity and beauty without having to sexualize herself?

I am not saying that these two lesbian woman are horrible parents and have forever scarred their children. Not at all. What I am saying is that this video only proves that we have a young, well adjusted, successful man who happens to have two mothers. I think it opens up a few things that do need to be discussed. I think there are deeper issues here than whether or not two women can raise kids. I think we really need to look at specific gender roles (and yes, it's okay to have gender roles), and a man's role and responisbility in the development of his children.

But these are just my thoughts. What are yours?

Perfectly Lonely

It has been quite some time since I sat and wrote, but here we go again!

There is a song by John Mayer called "Perfectly Lonely." Essentially, it is about how his life is fantastic because he doesn't have a significant other and can do whatever the heck he wants.

I am not like John Mayer in this sense. I am, however, I think perfectly lonely. About 10 months ago I left everything I knew in Sandusky and moved up to Perrysburg for my new job in Maumee. As a youth minister, I plugged into my parish and have slowly been getting to know new people and families here. However, the one thing I discovered is that, even though I'm 20 minutes north or south of a college campus, the number of young adults my age is minimal. As a side note, I feel very weird calling myself a young adult, I still feel like a kid sometimes.

Anyways, I sometimes get caught up in this loneliness of not really having any close, personal friends to hang out with occassionally. Now mind you, I work most evenings and am trying to spend my time with my beautiful girlfriend on the weekends, but that still leaves me almost always being at work or at my apartment by myself. It's to the point where I value the time I spend with my teens and my Core team because at least I have other people around.

But as I often pray for God to help me find friends or help me from my lonliness, He helps me realize something: I am not alone. He is with me. Constantly there by my side providing my with all the love I could ever want. Now I often think, as I'm sure many do, that I cannot feel, see, hear or speak to God as I could another human being. And that's very true. But that doesn't neglect the fact that He is there with me. And when I actually take the time to shut off the computer, turn off the tv, put down the video games, close the fiction book I'm reading and mabye pick up a Bible, or the rosary, or a good spiritual read, or just sit in silence He speaks volumes.

I think it's the human condition for us to want other people around. We were not made to be alone! We were made to live in community of some sort. And I long for that and miss the time I had with my good friends in college. But I also believe that God is using this time in my life to teach me that no matter where I go, He is there. And no matter what, He is there to love me. To forgive me. To encourage me to go further.

So I am perfectly lonely. Because I belong to my Father. And even if I have no one else to talk to, He is always there with a listening ear. And I know that out of His love for me, if I'm patient He'll eventually give me some time where another person will be there with me, too.

Being Pro-Life

I am pro-life.

I think sometimes we forget about what that means. It doesn't just mean that I'm against abortion. It means that I am for the very cause of life, in every way possible. Whether it be for a baby who has yet to be born, or a terrorist who has caused untold pain and suffering to countless people.

I find myself disgusted by some of my fellow countrymen and women this week. This past Sunday, President Obama went live and informed America that the "enemy" that we have been so untiredly seeking, Osama bin Laden, had been killed, and the "justice" was finally served. And America responded with celebration and jubilee.

Now I'm not defending bin Laden. I'm not saying that the way he lived his life was right. It wasn't. Devoting your life to the killing of innocent people because they are different from you is wrong. And I'm not saying the men who took his life were wrong. I understand that he was killed because of a fire fight, and had the men who were trying to capture actually decided that capturing him alive was what was going to happen, those men's lives may very well have been lost and bin Laden would have escaped to wreak more havoc on the world. But what I am saying is that we should not be so joyful that a man was gunned down.

When I say I'm against abortion, I don't mean I'm against killing a baby in the womb because it has potential to do great things and deserves a chance to live, even though it does. I say I'm against abortion because that baby has a soul that was given to him/her by God and that baby has dignity given to him/her by God and who are we to say that this person no longer has any God given dignity? How are we to pass judgement of that caliber on another person? We cannot.

And if we stand up and profess that God can forgive and believe that God can forgive even the most heinous of crimes, how can we believe we ever truly lose that God given dignity. And if we believe that we cannot truly lose that God given dignity, than how on Earth can we rejoice that another human beign has been killed? Can we feel relieve, can we feel a little safer and can we decide to not mourn? Yes. But does that mean we must rejoice? No. It's tactless. It's undignified. It's un-American.

I am pro-life. I do not rejoice in bin Laden's death. I pray for his soul and for God's mercy upon him. I pray that all of you find the time to offer prayers for him as well.

"Answer them: As I live, says the Lord God, I swear I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked man, but rather in the wicked man's conversion, that he may live." - Ezekiel 33:11

Belief

This title has much more to do than just the concept of belief. It actually deals with thoughts I had while recently listening to the John Mayer song.

Now according to dicionary.com belief is a noun meaning "confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof" or "confidence, faith, trust." And according to John Mayer, "belief is a beautiful armor, that makes for the heaviest sword." And he can't "recall, ever breaking rank at all for something someone yelled real loud one time." Finally, John asserts that "We're never gonna win the world, we're never gonna stop the war, we're never gonna beat this if belief is what we're fighting for."

I like John Mayer music. I do. It's got great guitar, and he has a really good voice. But sometimes John Mayer, the things you sing disturb me. Now, I'm not saying I disagree with what he's saying on belief. If belief is all we have, if "confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof" is the only thing we're using to try and change the world, we're in trouble. Because it does look good. It is a "beautiful armor." It is the idea that there are better times ahead. And life is good. But when trying to set the world ablaze, it "makes for the heaviest sword." We live in a world that demands proof for everything. And belief, as defined by the dictionary, doesn't offer that. But belief should not stand on it's own. Belief is interrelated, very closely, with faith.

Again, dictionary.com will define faith as "belief in god or in the doctrines or teachings of religion" (bold added for emphasis). Even in a dictionary the are interchangable and dependant on one another. But I never leave things to just how the culture points to them. In the very beginning of the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) we read "Faith is man's response to God, who reveals himself and give himself to man, at the same time bringing man a superabundant light as he searches for the ultimate meaning of his life (26)."But what does this mean? Simple. Faith isn't just a belief. It's not just some "confidence in truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof."

Faith is man's response to God. But why are we responding? Because God is trying to reveal himself and give himself to us. So when God is revealing, or telling us something about himself, and we are responding to it, then all of a sudden we realize exactly and truly what faith is. Faith is a relationship. Faith is knowing and loving and serving God because He has revealed His goodness and mercy and love to us, and we are moved to and required to respond to the revelation.

So all of a sudden if we look at belief in reflection of what we know faith to be, everything changes. All of a sudden belief becomes confidence in truth or existence to something, which in this case, and, in my opinion what John Mayer is talking about, God, to be susceptible to rigorous proof! How better to know that something exists, that it is real and true than to know the thing. To be in relation with it. All of a sudden, my faith is pushing forward my belief in God because I know Him. I spend time with Him. I am in relation with Him.

And I think when we realize this, John Mayer's lyrics cannot hold true. Because belief that is encouraged by this faith, will cause people to "break rank for something someone yelled real loud sometime." Not because they're yelling it but because they're living it. And with this belief encouraged by this faith we can "win the world" "stop the war" and we can "beat this," and by this I mean hate and death and destruction. Belief is still a "beautiful armor" because our Lord is beautiful. But it no longer is "the heaviest sword" because a relationship is something we live and can prove and can share.

So my prayer is that all of you work to find a faith that does help you know the truth because you are in relation with the One who made you. God bless.

W.W.J.D., F.R.O.G.in It and Road Trips

So it's been an awfully long time. I feel like my adoring fan base, which I admit I may have made up, has been sorely disappointed until this very moment. Now they can breathe easy and smile with joy at a new post from me.

Okay, so now that I'm done boosting my self esteem, I think it's time to look at the reason I decided to write today.

I just got back from a road trip. I left Ohio and traveled to St. Louis, MO and enjoyed two days of sightseeing and almost no time of relaxing, just as vacation should be? But it's a 9 hour drive to St. Louis, which means a 10 hour drive back (thank you time zones), and 6 of those were by myself- inevitably I had a lot of time to think. So sit back, relax and enjoy this small road trip into my mind.

I see a lot of people wearing these W.W.J.D. bracelets. I see a lot of people, when noticing someone getting upset, say "What would Jesus do?" And I was thinking, how many people really follow this? How many people are speeding down the highway, look at their wrist and say, "You know, Jesus probably wouldn't be doing 90 and gave the bird to a guy who was doing 70 when the speed limit is 65." It was some brash realization in my life when I thought that and then thought "What would Jesus do?! Do I want to do this?" You see, asking what Jesus would do leaves us with a very difficult choice. Chances are what Christ would do is really difficult. And requires us to F.R.O.G., or fully rely on God, and we, as a whole, really suck at this.

See, it's really cute and fun to say, "Hey man, I'm F.R.O.G.in' it. That's right, me, I'm fully reliant on God." We're not. If we were, I don't think we would worry. I think we would give of ourselves more. I'm not perfect, I know, and I have a long way to go with this, but I think we should all try. How many times do we not do the right thing, or kind thing, or Christian thing, because it's tough. Because it takes time. Because it may be an inconvience. If we really F.R.O.G.ed it, none of that would matter. We would trust God in his promise that he would take care of us.

For me, a big thing is tithing. I have been making more money, but haven't really been use to giving back to God. And so I'm really starting to look at this. 10% is what is asked. 10% of our first fruits. The first check you write, should be a donation. Ten percent, in all reality, is not much. Yet sometimes, ten percent can seem like a huge donation. Like if we give that money up, we may not be able to make another payment. But when give God a portion back of what He has given us, He will bless us abundantly.

So I guess we all need to do a little better D.W.J.W.D. (that's Doing What Jesus Would Do) and F.R.O.G.in' it, because I can tell you that it's a struggle for me. But maybe if we did, just maybe, we could change this world, we could set it ablaze for Christ. I'll be praying for all of you and hope you can find some time to pray for me as well, as I am in need.

I'm hoping to update more often. Hopefully within the next week or two I can take a look at how being saved by faith is so very closely related to becoming a new creation.

I hope you found this mind opening, in that you are thinking more deeply about Christ.

God bless you all.

I'm Still a Guy

So I was sitting in my Social Problems class as we discussed Gender Socialization. One of the issues we were discussing was the differences between men and women and the social problems involving masculinity and femininity. And one of the reasons preseneted as the problem was that the original differences between the gender roles of men and women has caused greater social problems today. And so to fix this problem, the idea was presented that we must redefine the gender roles.

So I guess to start this out, we should have a short history lesson. Way back before the industrialization of everything, men and women had specific roles that were necessary for survival. Since women were the ones who would birth children and be necessary for their survival in the first few years of the lives, it was imperative that they were relatively safe from harm. For this reason, women would stay behind in whatever encampments the community had set up and also gathered herbal food from nearby. Men, who were not as integral to the survival of the children, would be the hunters, leaving camp and risking their lives to bring back food for their families. This was done with a specific design and purpose, it was not demeaning to women, saying they were unable to do this. Quite the opposite, it was saying they were so important, that a man could not do the job a woman did, so the woman must survive. Interesting note of point, is women did then, and still do if in close proximity to another for extended periods of time, cycle together so if a woman should die, the other women could care for her children, but I digress.

So fast forward a long time and we arrive at today. This type of life is not really needed anymore. Instead of going out into the wilderness and killing one's own food, we merely go down to the corner market and pick up dinner. So, we need to completely redefine the roles of men and women because over the years, this has become outdated and anything a man can do, a woman can do. False. I'm told every day that I cannot get pregnant and I have yet to meet a women who can impregnate a man. Which means, that we were designed with a specific purpose to our lives.

Now I'm not saying here that women should be making less than men or that there are certain jobs that only men can do in the work force. But I am saying there is a fundamental difference between male and female and we need to respect that difference instead of just trying to forget it. As much as we hate to admit it, men and women are different. And we have been since the days when it was required. Men still have retained their single thought process. We needed it to survive in the days when we killed our own food because if our mind wondered, we were dead. Women still have this amazing ability to multitask and see many things at once, they needed this because they would have to worry about raising children, gather vegetation and making sure that all the jobs needing done at the encampment were done. So we are different in the ways we approach things, including relationships today.

But as happens with most thing, this got me thinking. If there is a definitive idea of what a "man" is, then how do we define it? Is it by physical strength, intelligence, ability to survive or what. As I was pondering on this point, I thought of Christ. There is this wonderful site called truemanhood.com. It is dedicated to helping men find true manhood by looking at Christ, who was true God and true man. And while I think this "man" that Christ was is the general term for mankind, I also believe it's the exact example of where us men should look to find what a real "man" as in male is. And so there are a few things that I would like to point to as to who Christ was that inspires me in my manhood:
1. Jesus wept for his friend Lazarus who had died. Wept. Real men cry.
2. Jesus became angered when there were merchants sellings things in his father's house. Real men have righteous anger over injustices and wrong doings.
3. Jesus loved his friends with all his heart. He never berated them, belittled them or lost his patience with them. He was always ready and willing to aid in their understanding. Real men are patient.
4. Jesus loved his mother. He performed his first miracle because Mary asked him to. Real men love and respect their parents.
5. Jesus forgave those who wronged him. He asked His Father to forgive those who crucified Him. Real men are forgiving and don't hold grudges.
6. Jesus loved all those who came to Him - beggars, prostitutes, tax collectors - it didn't matter. Real men do not judge.
7. Jesus fed 5,000 people with two loaves and five fish. Real men are charitable.

These are just points that I look to apply in my life. I think it's awesome how we have this example of how to be a real man and how many men may feel like some of these qualitites are signs of weakness. All I have to say is that if in being weak Christ was able to carry a cross after being beaten as far as He did and die for crimes He did not commit, then I will take that image of weakness over the image that this culture presents as masculine any day of the week.

So to conclude, I think that there was merit in what was presented in class. We do need to seriously look at how we define gender roles. But I do not think that what we need is a blurring of the lines of what is masculine and what is feminine, but instead a redefintion of what is male and what is female. I think we need to work on promoting equality, not sameness. Because we are NOT the same, but the does not mean we cannot be equal.

God bless, everyone.

With Every Passing Second comes a Second Chance

Forgiveness has been on my mind a lot lately. It could be the plethora of forgiveness themed songs I've been listening to courtesy of Relient K. Or it could be the fact that I've been pretty upset about things lately.

I'm 22 years old and I'd like to think pretty easy going about most things. Although everyone seems to think differently because I get told I need to relax, smile and have more fun... a lot. But irregardless, the forgiveness that I'm talking about it because I have had feelings of anger towards other individuals, and I have to keep telling myself to forgive them. When I look at their transgressions agaisnt me, I know I'm just being silly, it is not a big deal at all. So why? Why do I seem incapable of forgiving? More importantly, why do I let the little things get to me so much?

I came to a huge revelation. My anger is not at them. My anger is at me. It is not those who I perceive as wronging me who I am truly mad at. It's myself. And while I may be struggling to forgive those people who have done wrong to me. The one person I can never truly forgive, the one who I am hardest on is myself.

Who the hell am I? Seriously. Am I really that great that I have sinned so heavily that the price Christ paid on the Cross was not good enough for me? Am I so vain I think my sins are unforgivable. That I am the first one who has and the only one who ever will commit them.

I read an interesting piece once about the sign of peace. I'm not sure about other Chrisitan denominations or even other religions, but I know in the Catholic Church we offer the sign of peace to one another after reciting the Our Father at every Mass. And in the sign of peace something amazing happens. When we say, "Peace be with you," what we are saying is actually three things:
1) God, I forgive this person of all that they have done to cause me harm.
2) God, I want you to forgive this person and forget everything that they have done.
3) God, not only that, but I want you to give this person a life full of joy and blessings.

That's some powerful peace you're sending someone else's way. It when you think of the sign of peace is that, it really makes you think. To say that this person may have greviously transgressed agaisnt me, but God, I want you to forget everything about that and create plans for them to prosper. And God wants to do it. And He wants us to want to do that to others. We are called to live as He lives and He forgives. So should we.

But this isn't my problem. My problem is me. What I need is to offer myself a sign of peace. I need to say, "God, I forgive me for all that I've done to cause me harm. And I want you to forgive me and forget all that I've done. And I want you to give me a life full of joy and blessings." Because in all my sin. In all my wrong doing. I am still God's child. And I would not treat another child of God, another of my Brothers and Sisters and Christ as I treat myself.

The Golden Rule is to treat others as you yourself would want to be treated. But you must also treat yourself as you would treat others. We cannot degrade and hate ourselves because we are loved by He who is Love.

So remember, my dear friends, that you are special and beautiful and wonderful and created by a Father who loves you. And so am I. So to end this I'll leave you with some of those wonderful Relient K lyrics I was telling you about:

Don't give up it's not the end. There's hope for every fallen man.
Forgiveness can be given when you think it can
Because with every passing second comes a second chance.

God bless.