Perfectly Lonely

It has been quite some time since I sat and wrote, but here we go again!

There is a song by John Mayer called "Perfectly Lonely." Essentially, it is about how his life is fantastic because he doesn't have a significant other and can do whatever the heck he wants.

I am not like John Mayer in this sense. I am, however, I think perfectly lonely. About 10 months ago I left everything I knew in Sandusky and moved up to Perrysburg for my new job in Maumee. As a youth minister, I plugged into my parish and have slowly been getting to know new people and families here. However, the one thing I discovered is that, even though I'm 20 minutes north or south of a college campus, the number of young adults my age is minimal. As a side note, I feel very weird calling myself a young adult, I still feel like a kid sometimes.

Anyways, I sometimes get caught up in this loneliness of not really having any close, personal friends to hang out with occassionally. Now mind you, I work most evenings and am trying to spend my time with my beautiful girlfriend on the weekends, but that still leaves me almost always being at work or at my apartment by myself. It's to the point where I value the time I spend with my teens and my Core team because at least I have other people around.

But as I often pray for God to help me find friends or help me from my lonliness, He helps me realize something: I am not alone. He is with me. Constantly there by my side providing my with all the love I could ever want. Now I often think, as I'm sure many do, that I cannot feel, see, hear or speak to God as I could another human being. And that's very true. But that doesn't neglect the fact that He is there with me. And when I actually take the time to shut off the computer, turn off the tv, put down the video games, close the fiction book I'm reading and mabye pick up a Bible, or the rosary, or a good spiritual read, or just sit in silence He speaks volumes.

I think it's the human condition for us to want other people around. We were not made to be alone! We were made to live in community of some sort. And I long for that and miss the time I had with my good friends in college. But I also believe that God is using this time in my life to teach me that no matter where I go, He is there. And no matter what, He is there to love me. To forgive me. To encourage me to go further.

So I am perfectly lonely. Because I belong to my Father. And even if I have no one else to talk to, He is always there with a listening ear. And I know that out of His love for me, if I'm patient He'll eventually give me some time where another person will be there with me, too.