I'm Still a Guy

So I was sitting in my Social Problems class as we discussed Gender Socialization. One of the issues we were discussing was the differences between men and women and the social problems involving masculinity and femininity. And one of the reasons preseneted as the problem was that the original differences between the gender roles of men and women has caused greater social problems today. And so to fix this problem, the idea was presented that we must redefine the gender roles.

So I guess to start this out, we should have a short history lesson. Way back before the industrialization of everything, men and women had specific roles that were necessary for survival. Since women were the ones who would birth children and be necessary for their survival in the first few years of the lives, it was imperative that they were relatively safe from harm. For this reason, women would stay behind in whatever encampments the community had set up and also gathered herbal food from nearby. Men, who were not as integral to the survival of the children, would be the hunters, leaving camp and risking their lives to bring back food for their families. This was done with a specific design and purpose, it was not demeaning to women, saying they were unable to do this. Quite the opposite, it was saying they were so important, that a man could not do the job a woman did, so the woman must survive. Interesting note of point, is women did then, and still do if in close proximity to another for extended periods of time, cycle together so if a woman should die, the other women could care for her children, but I digress.

So fast forward a long time and we arrive at today. This type of life is not really needed anymore. Instead of going out into the wilderness and killing one's own food, we merely go down to the corner market and pick up dinner. So, we need to completely redefine the roles of men and women because over the years, this has become outdated and anything a man can do, a woman can do. False. I'm told every day that I cannot get pregnant and I have yet to meet a women who can impregnate a man. Which means, that we were designed with a specific purpose to our lives.

Now I'm not saying here that women should be making less than men or that there are certain jobs that only men can do in the work force. But I am saying there is a fundamental difference between male and female and we need to respect that difference instead of just trying to forget it. As much as we hate to admit it, men and women are different. And we have been since the days when it was required. Men still have retained their single thought process. We needed it to survive in the days when we killed our own food because if our mind wondered, we were dead. Women still have this amazing ability to multitask and see many things at once, they needed this because they would have to worry about raising children, gather vegetation and making sure that all the jobs needing done at the encampment were done. So we are different in the ways we approach things, including relationships today.

But as happens with most thing, this got me thinking. If there is a definitive idea of what a "man" is, then how do we define it? Is it by physical strength, intelligence, ability to survive or what. As I was pondering on this point, I thought of Christ. There is this wonderful site called truemanhood.com. It is dedicated to helping men find true manhood by looking at Christ, who was true God and true man. And while I think this "man" that Christ was is the general term for mankind, I also believe it's the exact example of where us men should look to find what a real "man" as in male is. And so there are a few things that I would like to point to as to who Christ was that inspires me in my manhood:
1. Jesus wept for his friend Lazarus who had died. Wept. Real men cry.
2. Jesus became angered when there were merchants sellings things in his father's house. Real men have righteous anger over injustices and wrong doings.
3. Jesus loved his friends with all his heart. He never berated them, belittled them or lost his patience with them. He was always ready and willing to aid in their understanding. Real men are patient.
4. Jesus loved his mother. He performed his first miracle because Mary asked him to. Real men love and respect their parents.
5. Jesus forgave those who wronged him. He asked His Father to forgive those who crucified Him. Real men are forgiving and don't hold grudges.
6. Jesus loved all those who came to Him - beggars, prostitutes, tax collectors - it didn't matter. Real men do not judge.
7. Jesus fed 5,000 people with two loaves and five fish. Real men are charitable.

These are just points that I look to apply in my life. I think it's awesome how we have this example of how to be a real man and how many men may feel like some of these qualitites are signs of weakness. All I have to say is that if in being weak Christ was able to carry a cross after being beaten as far as He did and die for crimes He did not commit, then I will take that image of weakness over the image that this culture presents as masculine any day of the week.

So to conclude, I think that there was merit in what was presented in class. We do need to seriously look at how we define gender roles. But I do not think that what we need is a blurring of the lines of what is masculine and what is feminine, but instead a redefintion of what is male and what is female. I think we need to work on promoting equality, not sameness. Because we are NOT the same, but the does not mean we cannot be equal.

God bless, everyone.